Parenting Guidelines

When the time comes to start potty training your child, it can be an over whelming experience. There are often more questions than answers. I am here to tell you to just relax and take things one step at a time. Here are some basic guidelines to follow, but what I would really like to focus on is all the information people just don’t tell you.

Lets start off with the first step.

Is my child ready to start potty training?

There are some basic guidelines to follow to see if your child may be ready for potty training

1. Does your child show an interest towards the potty or toilet?
2. Is your child aware of his or her own bowel movements and the need to urinate?
3. Does your child have dry periods of 3 to 4 hours, showing bladder control?
4. Is your child at a co operative stage?
5. Does your child protest to having a dirty nappy?
6. Does your child show a desire for independence?
7. Can your child follow simple instructions?

What most experts fail to mention, is that it is just as important for you to be ready to begin potty training as what it is for your child. This is a process you need to commit to. You need to be mentally and emotionally prepared to begin to tackle this wonderful milestone. You need to ensure that your routine is stable. (Don’t start to potty train when you are moving house, or when there is a new baby in the family, as an example)
It helps to have a strategy in place. This should be agreed apron by you and your husband or wife, as you will both need to support each other and back each other up, in order to make this a smooth transition. When you begin potty training you need to be prepared for accidents, and both parents need to have the knowledge and insight as to how best to deal with these types of situations. When children begin their potty training journey it helps tremendously if both parents are on the same page, and both of you offer lots of praise and encouragement. I am not saying that it wont be as successful in single parent households, not at all. What I am saying is, all parties involved need to agree on a strategy so they can support each other, and the child.
I have seen situations where one parent is committed and the other parent is hesitant. This can leave your child feeling very confused. For an example, your child has had an accident, and wet themselves, you remain calm, you encourage your child, and tell them its OK. Now if your partner starts getting angry and shouting because of the mess that has been made, and insists that your child puts a nappy back on, because they believe they are obviously not ready, this makes for a very unhappy and uncomfortable house hold. Not only is your child confused, ashamed and embarrassed, but you are also left second guessing yourself, and having to take on the responsibility of potty training on your own, feeling unsupported.

How to get potty training started?

You will need to get your child a potty or training seat. This is based on preference. In my house we used both. I like the versatility of the potty, as it can be place in which ever room I am in, and it is always there for quick access. Lets face it when children are learning to use a potty or toilet they don’t give you much warning, when they need to go, they need to go NOW! I like to incorporate the training seat, to reinforce that there is a special place to use the toilet. This is also great to use if you have a child who likes to copy and mimic you.
You will also need to buy some underwear. Let you child go with you and give them the opportunity to choose their own. You get lots of great children’s characters. animals and super heroes designs.

Once you have these its time to start. To start the process, go and buy a book, or borrow some from your local library, which deals with potty training in an age appropriate manner. Sit and go through these books with your child, then allow them to experiment and play with the potty. Demonstrate the concept of sitting on the potty using a teddy.

Once your child is comfortable with the idea of the potty its time to take it to the next step, get them into their new underwear. Keep this fun and upbeat, as it is a wonderful milestone.

Expect Potty training accidents

You can expect some accidents while your child is getting the hang of using the potty. If this should happen, stay calm and reassure them that it is OK. Take him or her to the toilet or the potty and let them sit on it. What I can suggest is letting them sit on the potty while you read them their favourite story. Do this about every 45 minutes or so. It is often difficult for children to grasp the concept of urinating. Once they have done it once give lots of praise, which will help them form positive associating, and also begin to realise the felling of needing to urinate.

Listen to your own instincts

The best advice I can offer parents, is take things one step at a time. Listen to your own gut feelings and intuition. If at some point during the potty training process, you feel that the timing is not yet right, I can promise you, it is ok to put your child back in nappies and try again in a few months. A few months in a young child’s life can make a huge amount of difference. I was always under the impression that once you start the potty training process, you need to commit to it, no matter what, and that putting your child back in nappies would only confuse them, sending them mix signals. This concept is wrong! Lets face it, you can prepare as much as you like, your child can check all the “ready for potty training” boxes, but in the reality of the situation your child may not be ready yet. If you realise that your child is not ready, its ok to take a step back. If the potty training process is causing any distress to your child or a power struggle begins to take shape, put their nappy back on and try again in a few weeks.

Something else to be aware of as a parent, is the peer preasure you get from other parents whose children are potty trained or even preasure from your own parents or in-laws. Every child is different, and will be ready for this milestoe in their own time. A very good friend of mine once told me, “It is unlikely that you will have a 10 year old still in nappies. Juat relax, it will happen when she is ready” At the time the thought of Dana being 10 and still in nappies, did make me giggle. But she was so right, take the pressure off yourself and your child. It will happen, and whenever it does, that’s ok.

I wish I had this advise when I was potty training my daughter. I started potty training her when she was 2 ½. She has always been a very independent child, and she ticked all the “ready boxes”. I was also feeling a lot of peer pressure, as all my friends with children of a similar age, were already out of nappies. So I went out and bought every thing I needed to buy, and began the potty training process. It was a nightmare from the word go. Dana would wet herself 10 times a day. She would get so distressed and embarrassed. I was doing the right things, following all the advice to the letter, but it was just not working. All of the information i had got told me to persevere and keep going, that it will take some time. And that I should avoid putting her back into nappies, as she would “win the battle” and it would just confuse her, and that it would be harder to potty train her the next time I decided to try. What a load of B.S!! I did put her back in nappies. I waited a couple of months, and then tried again. The second time we tried to potty train, it was an absolute breeze. She just grasped the concept straight away, and she only had maybe 3 accidents. It was a whole new experience for me. I wish I did not put so much pressure on myself, the other family members, and also on Dana. It all turned out for the best. All I had to do was trust my own instinct.

Tags: accidents, baby, bladder, bowel, Child, Diaper, milestone, nappy, potty, stay calm, Toddler, toilet, Toilet training, train, underwear