Parenting Guidelines

Obviously filming a tantrum will not help matters, but I would like to say thank you for this footage.

Here is a classic example of where ignoring a child’s tantrum would work best. This video illustrates the consequences of trying to rationalise with a child who is having a tantrum. Communication only escalates the child’s tantrum. Here it would be better to walk away and leave your child alone. They will more often calm down a lot quicker if their behaviour gets NO attention. That includes non verbal communication. Do not make eye contact, or engage in any way with your child. COMPLETELY ignore them. I would suggest that you subtly keep an eye on them to ensure their safety.

Something that my Interest You: The Positive Parent

With a child of this age, I would suggest going up to him/her, right down on your haunches, and saying to them something like, “I will not talk to you while you are behaving this way. Finish crying and when you are finished then we can talk about why you are upset”. In this example you can see that simply ignoring the child does not work. Here I would walk out of the room leaving them to get over their tantrum on their own. Once they have calmed down make sure you follow through with what you said, and go and talk to them. Ask them why they are upset and what your reasons are for saying no or not letting them do what they want to do. It is important to listen to your child, and show them respect, therefore encouraging them to show you they same respect in return.

Something that my Interest You: Why Do Children Have Tantrums

 

 

In this video (I know this is a dialogue between 2 children, but for the sake of an example, let’s pretend its parent/child who is communicating). If your child is throwing a tantrum because they don’t want to do what you ask, I would recommend giving them a choice. The trick here is that both options which you provide are acceptable to you. In this video the child does not want to brush her teeth. If you look at the situation it seems as if the child was initially upset because she does not want to wear the dress which was chosen for her. This is a great example where giving them a choice would help. Saying to them that they can choose something else to wear, and then give them an option between 2 outfits that you have chosen. Both sets of clothes would be acceptable to you, and your child feels empowered by having a sense of choice. You can say something like, “I will give you a choice of something else to wear, and then you will brush your teeth.” It is important that this is a statement and not a question. By using this strategy, of giving your child a choice, many tantrums can be completely avoided in the future.

Something that my Interest You: Can You Give Children Too Much Praise?

In this video you will see what looks like a child having a huge tantrum. If your child is behaving in this manner I would suggest that you look at some various discipline techniques. A child who is behaving in this way is not only having a temper tantrum for not getting what he/she wants, but is also being disrespectful and behaving in an unacceptable manner. When your child is behaving like this, only dealing with the temper tantrum would not suffice. I would advice that discipline guidelines are also introduced and implemented.

Something that my Interest You:  Discipline Guidelines

Tags: Behavior, Child, children, Children Youth and Family, consequences, discipline, non verbal communication, Parent, Tantrum, tantrums