Parenting Guidelines

Role of Parents- What Our Children See

Children are very intuitive. They often pick up on the smallest of details, details we give away in our body language, our facial expressions, and even the tone of our voice. They pick up on a lot more than just the words we speak. A parent is the most important person in any young child’s life. Your children look up to you and consider all your behaviour, good or bad, to be acceptable. Our role as parents is to take a good look at ourselves through the eyes of our children and take a moment to consider what they see.

Our Children Hold a Mirror

So many times I have looked at my 3 yr old daughter, Dana, playing, and I am stopped dead in my tracks and have to do a double take. I see a mini version of myself. It is so eye opening and can be a very rewarding experience. I see her hugging her favourite toy saying “I will never leave you, you are very special to me” and my heart just melts. Read more… …

Being a new parent often proves to be a scary undertaking. A first-time mother especially may be overwhelmed with her worry with her newborn’s health and safety, so much to the point that she often dismisses any symptoms she herself might be experiencing. She may be so engulfed in caring for her new baby that she may not notice that she isn’t feeling very well herself.

On August 4, 2005, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Lily. Like most new mothers, I experienced exhaustion, but thought it was just the new routine of having a newborn and settling into my new role as her mother. The weeks after her birth were uneventful and I went back to work four weeks after having her. When I began to suffer from extreme fatigue and weight loss, my doctor told me it was due to breastfeeding and my eating healthy foods. My doctor was not concerned for my health at that point.

As the months went on, however, I began to feel even more fatigued. One day in November 2005, while I was home alone with Lily, I became so tired and felt such heaviness in my chest while doing laundry that I had to rest often. In fact, I decided to rest just a bit and ended up falling asleep for over two hours. I knew that my tiredness was beyond the normal exhaustion new moms feel. Despite working a full-time job and being a new mom, I knew at that point that my health was suffering and that something was very wrong with my health. I decided that day to see my doctor and find out what was wrong with me.

And then on November 21, 2005, I received the diagnosis that would alter my life permanently. My doctor diagnosed me as having mesothelioma, which is a rare and often deadly form of cancer. Lily was a mere three months old at that time and my family’s existence was just disrupted.

I immediately began my fight against this form of cancer and now six years later, I am cancer free. I have detailed my story about the fight for my life on my blog. I talk about being diagnosed with cancer, my treatment, and how my life and that of my family has been affected by the diagnosis. I invite you to read my story on my blog.

When the time comes to start potty training your child, it can be an over whelming experience. There are often more questions than answers. I am here to tell you to just relax and take things one step at a time. Here are some basic guidelines to follow, but what I would really like to focus on is all the information people just don’t tell you.

Lets start off with the first step.

Is my child ready to start potty training? Read more… …

Obviously filming a tantrum will not help matters, but I would like to say thank you for this footage.

Here is a classic example of where ignoring a child’s tantrum would work best. This video illustrates the consequences of trying to rationalise with a child who is having a tantrum. Communication only escalates the child’s tantrum. Read more… …

When your child starts school it can be a very stressful time, both for you and your child. This is completely natural and it affects each individual differently. There are children who are more confident and out going than others and there are also children who are more nervous and apprehensive of new situations. The same is true for parents; some parents are less emotional when the time comes to send their child to school, and other parents are more anxious. These wide scales of emotions are all completely natural. When I sent my 3 year old, Dana, to school for the first time I found myself very surprised by the emotions I felt. I thought that I would be strong and not over emotional yet when the time came to say good bye to her I was caught off guard by some over whelming emotions. Read more… …

Why Do Children Have Tantrums?

Every parent has experienced a tantrum in one form or another, some where along their parenting path. It is completely normal for a child to have a tantrum, as it is a normal developmental phase.

There are many reasons for children having a tantrum, but the most common one is because of frustration. Childrenhave not yet reached the emotional maturity to handle the various emotions they feel. If you take a moment and take yourself back to a place when you are feeling frustrated, or you have witnessed a frustration outburst in a fellow adult. How do you handle frustration? Here is an adult tantrum I have witnessed

I have a friend, Alex, whenever Alex watches his favourite sports games, usually cricket or rugby, he is quickly frustrated when his team does not play as well as they should, when they make silly errors, or even when the referee is not doing his job properly. He uses the most colourful language under the sun. Read more… …

When should Children be given praise?

I have come to the understanding that you can’t praise your children too much, but more accurately, give praise inappropriately.

This question got me thinking, as it is not a straight forward answer as one might expect. Praise for children should be given when they have achieved something and not for medial tasks. Now this may sound like a contradiction, as all positive behaviour should be praised to encourage more of that behaviour. I think this is where the problem comes in. It is not that all tasks should be given praise, but more importantly that all positive behaviour should be appropriately acknowledged.When a 5 year old packs away his toys as an example, this is great, wonderful behaviour, but should he be praised for doing something which at the end of the day, you expect from him in the first place? I think not. The behaviour should certainly be acknowledged, maybe with a “Well done” or a “great job” but that should be that. An elaborate, “well done, im so proud of you, fantastic job. “ is not called for as the child has not conquered any obstacle or achieved some set out goal. No. They did what is expected of them. Read more… …

Praising Children

When it comes to offering praise for children’s efforts and behaviour I discovered that it is a far more in depth topic than I first realised. When it comes to praising your children, the questions which came up are: What exactly is praise? Is praise the same as reward? How do you effectively praise children? Are there “wrong” ways to give praise? And what I found to be the most interesting question, can you praise your children too much?

What is Praise?

Praise for children is acknowledging an achievement that has been done. It is making it very clear to your child through the words you choose, the smile on your face, and your tone of voice, that you are happy with what they have done. You are proud of their achievements, their behaviour, or the choices they have made. Read more… …

Parenting Guidelines

Parenting Guidelines is a resource site offering parents some advice and useful tips on various parenting techniques and strategies. Parenting guidelines will cover many aspects of parenting, from pregnancy to toddlers and children.

Raising children can be a confusing and challenging task. When our little bundles of joy are born, they do not come with a hand book or manual, you are not giving a journal of guidelinesto follow. You are sent home with this precious little person, who needs to be shaped, moulded, guided and loved. Parenting it is probably one of the most important roles in any adults’ life.The day you decided to have a baby is the day you are expected to become a baby and toddler expert. This however is not normally the case and parents need some guidance and advice to help them be the best parents they can be. Read more… …

What is Child discipline?

Child discipline is teaching children what behaviour is acceptable. It is aiding children in learning how to make good choices and be accountable for their actions. Discipline techniques which are carried out in a loving, calm and controlled manner can assist children in exercising self control as well as self respect and respect for others.

Child Discipline vs. Child Punishment

Child discipline and punishment are often confused and put into the same category, yet the two are very different. Punishment is imposing something unpleasant onto a child for doing something wrong. Punishment is often enforced through fear tactics, trying to get a child to do some thing or behave in a certain way by instilling fear. E.G statements such as “wait ‘till your dad gets home. “Or “If you do that again, you will get the hiding of your life”. This way of trying to instil good behaviour and good morals does not work. Read more… …